heart rocks & hashtags

I have this dear friend. God put her in the classroom next to mine years before I ever knew how much I would need her. I always tell anyone that she was the Zaccheus tree that God planted long before I ever had a need to climb up one in order to see Him. But this friend has an immobilizing fear. She is deathly afraid of mice, rats or rodents of any kind…gerbils, hamsters, guinea pigs, chipmunks, capybaras, ROUSS’s (I don’t think they exist…). You name it. It doesn’t matter what form they come in: alive, dead, stuffed, cartoony, cute, hideous…she is out. This fear is so deeply ingrained into her psyche that you are not even allowed to say what they are around her. You may only refer to them as “m’s” or “r’s”.  She has her sister screen any scary movies where there is even a remote chance of one of those forbidden furries crawling across the big screen. She will be forever memorialized by my oldest daughter and her graduating class when the story of “The Day the Mouse Ran Across Our English Classroom” is retold over and over again. I have the cutest little drawing of a farm mouse that I have done as an example for my art students to look at that my friend promptly turns around. You don’t joke around with her about it. You don’t try to prank her by leaving a plastic one around. I have tried to warn her new students about her fear and that it is not a joking matter as I see the wheels in their sick, demented minds begin concocting an evil plot of mouse mayhem. She is not playing.

Fears. We all have them. To be perfectly honest, writing these words and then sharing them with anyone is one of my fears. The enemy has filled me with doubts and a rising tide of insecurities. His taunts echo in my head, “You are nothing compared with the “giants” of other Christian authors like Beth Moore or Priscilla Shirer or Lysa TerKeurst. You will never measure up. You will never know the Bible like they do. You don’t even write all that well…at least not as good as they do. Who would read your stuff anyway? You’re nobody special. You don’t have anything of importance to say.” Satan figures out the things that paralyze me with fear and plays them on repeat.

The enemy is having a field day in the world right now. Everywhere you look there is something to be fearful of, something that causes concern, something that stands outside our protective fence taunting us, keeping us inside. Fear rings out on the news, in our social media feeds, and in every other conversation we have with others. Fear bullies us with new words and catchphrases: pandemic, unprecedented, essential workers, social distancing, probable positives, herd immunity, flattening the curve, safer at home, quarantine, ‘new normal.’ We are scared of everything…running out of toilet paper, conspiracy theories, the effectiveness of Lysol, defending masks, not defending masks, someone sneezing nearby, going the wrong way down the aisle, hugging someone. But isn’t that Satan’s end game? To keep us paralyzed in fear. To keep us from moving forward. To keep us from doing what God has called us to do. To keep us isolated. To make us believe that we should just wait it out and see if it all goes away. To keep us doing nothing because fear has our feet cemented to the ground.

We can know for certain that our fears are not from the Lord. His Word says it very plainly, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV). Power. Love. A Sound Mind. When we believe in Jesus, do His work, tell others about Him, represent Him well, we operate in His power…the same power that raises people from the dead. When we look around and see others as Jesus sees them, when we treat others with kindness despite our differences, when we serve others, we operate in His love…the same love that willingly died for me and you. When we respond to panic and confusion and worldwide chaos by trusting the One who is actually in control, we operate with a sound mind…the same mind of Christ that is calm and self-controlled. Jesus gives us those three things: power, love and a sound mind. Not fear.

I don’t know about you, but I am tired of operating from a spirit of fear. I think it’s time to take a step back. Assess our anxieties. Hold our worries up to the light. Gather up all of your unease, apprehension, unrest, and doubts and weigh them against a God that is bigger than all of it. Look at the pot of “Fear Soup” that the enemy is cooking up, watching as he stirs in all kinds of chaotic, evil ingredients. Decide if you are going to take a sip or instead say, “No thanks…I’m allergic.”

Lord, I pray that I will have a spirit of discernment as I go through my day today. Please bring to light any consuming worries or doubts and to make me aware if a spirit of fearfulness is churning inside me for that is not from You. Do not let my focus be on the overwhelming and chaotic events of this world that cause so much fear. Instead, I want to walk in a spirit of power, love and a sound mind keeping my focus on You. When fear does enter my heart, help me to remember Psalm 56:3, “When I am afraid, I will trust in You.”